Originally posted on November 23, 2011 on All-Nudist, our original website
“Six months ago I was dying and didn't even know it. Today I’m living and know it!”
I wrote those words in November of ’09, three months after being pronounced terminally ill with anything from a few days to, possibly, a couple of months to live. They told us not to make any plans for Thanksgiving…
And we didn’t. I was very sick and getting much sicker; there seemed no need. I was at home since the hospital could do nothing, and we wanted it that way. Angie cared for me like the angel she is, and we got by on love; a whole lot of love. Knowing that all will end soon can give you a different perspective on things and we learned to grab as much from each day as we could. Every moment was precious, since it might be the last. You really do begin to understand that phrase, ‘Live every day as if it were your last’ when it very well might be!
Well, Thanksgiving arrived and I was still there to see it! Our whole family came over unexpectedly; kids, grandkids and all, and somehow we managed to stretch the two turkey dinners that Hospice Care had delivered into feeding a whole flock of people!
It was the best Thanksgiving I had ever known, and I was dying! It’s a funny thing, perspective. All it takes is a little bit of it to change your whole point of view.
As you may have guessed, I didn’t die on schedule. A few months later the docs said that I had stopped dying, imagine that! They said I’d never be back to where I should be, but as long as nothing happened I should keep on chugging along indefinitely. That was ok by us!
Since then people have shown us incredible acts of kindness in helping us in many ways; from the Hospice workers who came to our home to care for me, to my co-workers who helped empty our house for sale (never sold it; no market), to my doctors and nurses who encouraged me in the face of certain death, to our family who helped Angie cope with the impending loss of her husband and home. And our friends from our website, folks we had never met who pitched in and provided articles while I couldn’t because it eased my mind to know ‘our baby’ was being cared for. We found friends we never knew we had, and love in places we never knew existed. We learned what thankfulness means, and humility in the face of kindness.
So here I am two years later; here we are, my Angie and I, still alive and kicking and trying to remember the lesson we learned during those terrible/wonderful days: Live every day as if it were your last, for it just might be. And we do, oh yes!
Thanksgiving isn’t just for Pilgrims, you know. Or Americans or Christians. Every day can be a thanksgiving day if only we open our eyes a bit. Look around, at those you care for and those who care for you, look to see who has helped your life be just a little bit better. And be thankful for the friends you have, even the ones you don’t know. You, too may be surprised at all you have to be thankful for.
May your days of thanks and giving be many and often, and may you always remember to live each day! – Steve
UPDATE 5-2015 Still kicking and it appears that I will continue to do so for some time to come!
“…almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” - Steve Jobs